Irritation Against The Machine
by CropsyManiac
Summary: Vampires, mummies, zombies, cyborgs and all kinds of unspeakable monstrosities - Riza Wildman has fought and defeated truckloads of opponents under Hime's service. But now, with Hiro's assistance, she will have to face one of her toughest opponents yet - the home computer. RizaXHiro, Rated T for language and suggestive themes/suggestive humor.


Here's a little thing I'm working on in-between Princess Phantasm and Princess Damnation (check CrossoversDoom and Rating: M for that one). May cleanup/tweak chapters for consistency/flow and grammar as I write, as usual.

And of course, this is RizaxHiro, as always.

* * *

11 P.M. - Friday

"My, my. Are you going to be much longer with my laptop?"  
The raven-haired vampire taps her foot against the floor impatiently, fully dressed for her regular night-time stroll.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm almost done! gimme a break here would you?!  
Riza grumbles a response towards her blood-sucking companion, the clicks of the keyboard echoing faintly throughout the room. Finding a decent computer for a good price is hard enough as it is - the last thing this redheaded werewolf needs is Reiri nagging away at her back.

Reiri sighs, the tapping of her foot increasing in tempo.

"As eager as I am to pursue my nightly activities, I'd hate to leave you the computer in my absence - I fear your beastly urges may leave lewd content on my browser history. Again."

"Guh!"  
Riza's face blazes a crimson red at the embarrassing remark.

"D-damnit! That only happened once, you-"  
The redheaded girl suddenly cuts herself short

"Hey, here's something!"

She takes a deep breath in anticipation as she clicks the product link.

"**AM 2477 Home Computer - CLEARANCE - CHEAP**

**For sale by seller: DocFlyman420 - Seller Rating 99%**

**As much as it pains me to part with such a unique piece of equipment, I simply have no more room nor patience for this particular object. I am desperately in need of more workspace in the lab, and am therefore selling off this equipment at a rather ridiculously discounted price. In particular, this Allied Mastercomputer 2477 Home Computer will go for a mere $99 price tag - tax and shipping may vary by location.**

**WARNING - The AM 2477 is a highly advanced computer and contains a sophisticated built-in A.I, - it is capable of self-development, learning, and -**"

"99$! Hot damn!"  
The redhaired warrior smacks her hands together gleefully, whipping out her debit card from her pants pocket and zooming through the buying process before Reiri even has the chance to protest.

"But, did you read the warni-"

"And done! Should be here in a day or so.."

The werewolf girl rubs her hands together excitedly as Reiri pulls her laptop away with a scoff.

"Heavens, I thought you would at least have the common sense to read the entire page..."  
The vampire sighs, shaking her head in exasperation as she slips the laptop back into her bag.

"And give somebody extra time to buy it from under my nose? Not on your life!"

Riza crosses her arms, a look of smug satisfaction smeared across her face - no doubt perceiving her quick purchase as some sort of achievement in speed.

Reiri doesn't even bother with a reply. She strolls over to the window and slides it open, climbing only partway through before pausing in her tracks - with a smirk on her face, she peers back towards her beastly acquaintance.

"Oh well. At the very least, it should be amusing to see your ignorance backfire on you."  
And with those condescending words, she takes off into the night - leaving Riza to only glare towards the now-open window.

"Bah! 'Bloodsucking bitch always thinks she's so high and mighty..."

The werewolf girl growls to herself as she shuts the window. Nevertheless, her foul mood quickly dissipates as she anticipates the arrival of her first self-owned computer. It should only take a couple days to arrive, after all - if she's lucky, she can manage to get Hiro and Flandre to help her set it up.

...Hell, does Hiro even know how to set up a computer?

She pauses for a moment to contemplate - but quickly shrugs off the issue. Even if he doesn't know anything about computers, it will at least be nice to hang out with him; it's not like there's anything else going on this weekend.

Feeling content with herself, the hot-tempered girl heads back to her quarters to sleep the night away.

- Saturday, 10:30 A.M.-

...

"Come on, push it in!"

"I.. I'm trying...It's too tight..."

"Guhh~! Q-quit complaining would you? I had no idea it would be so big..."

Lilliane slowly places her silver tea-cup on its saucer, her cheeks gradually flushing a deep red as the gasping voices echo from the servants quarters below. Are they...?

"T-the opening is so small, are you sure..-"

"Don't stop!"

"Gg! Gahh~!"

The voices continue, except now accentuated with muffled, off-rhythm thumps; causing enough vibration to sway the tea in her cup. The noblewoman's face is now beet red, the flushed skin creating a stark contrast with the sleek blonde hair. It feels wrong to listen in on this - but if they're going to do it this loud, it's not exactly voluntary.

"HIRO!"

"I=IT'S IN!"

"Alright! Lets get this thing out of the box and set'er up!"

Oh.

With the voices and thumping suddenly explained, the noblewoman's facial color returns to normal so fast it's practically audible - albeit still slightly flushed with embarrassment over her... miscalculation. It seems that Riza's shipment merely arrived rather early. Still - how big does this computer have to be to make it that difficult to fit through the door?...

...

..."Riza... are you sure this is supposed to be a regular computer?"

The boy gulps quietly as he peers up at the monolithic device towering over him - a sleek, yet menacing black box fronted with a basic DVD drive, a few USB ports, and over a hundred red LED lights. It seems just plain eerie: especially with the shredded remains of the cardboard packaging now scattered ominously around it.

"Of course I'm sure! Got'er for 99$, I doubt anybody would be selling anything crazy for a price like that."

Hiro wipes his brow; despite the werewolf girl's reassurance, the information only makes him more suspicious of the machine's nature. The thing isn't even scratched in the slightest, even though the doorway to Riza's room is banged, scratched, and partially crumbled from trying to get the towering device into the room - a little bit of cardboard packaging surely isn't enough to protect something from that kind of force...

"Did you... did you read the product description?"

"Well, yeah."

Riza smiles, chuckling slightly as if to sound confident and convincing. Unfortunately, her acting skills prove to be sub-par compared to her fighting ability - her true answer is easily given away by her rather forced tone. Seemingly aware of this, she quickly clears her throat.

"I mean, maybe not every single tiny little syllable.. but yeah, I read them."

That's a no.

"Right.."  
Hiro sighs.

"Hey, come on: there's nothing to worry about! Let's get this thing set up, then maybe we can play some games on it or something."

The boy smiles at Riza's cheery proposal, and finally nods in agreement. Still, it's not enough to lift the uneasiness from his gut as he turns back to face the machine. Sighing in resignation, he crawls behind the behemoth and starts the process of figuring out the cables - it's time to see what this thing can do.

-To be continued!-


End file.
